Since the Clinton Administration and our Official Government-Approved Free Media haven't actually given any reasons for U.S. warmaking, our intrepid Eat the State! researchers, utilizing a renowned network of inside sources and pure speculation, have gone to great lengths to find out for you. The secret's out. Here they are.

We must send Saddam Hussein a message: "After gym class is over I'll be waiting for you outside, and I'm going to beat you up."
U.S. arms sale projections for 1998 have dipped below their current 75% of the world market levels, and so we must use Baghdad as an extended infomercial.
Birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim.
Certain campaign financiers would like to have a good excuse to jack up retail gasoline prices 25% again while their costs remain stable.
The Dow Jones hasn't hit 10,000 yet.
U.S. spy satellites have located a household in suburban Baghdad that still has electricity and a reliable water supply.
The insects buzzing around rotting Iraqi corpses have violated U.S.-imposed "no fly zone" restrictions.
Every missile we fire will have to be replaced by a newer, more expensive one.
Saddam Hussein is actually a CIA agent, and the whole thing is an elaborate hoax.
Clinton is way ahead in the polls, and every day Iraq is on the front page of the papers is one less day Bob Dole can draw attention to his campaign.
Life is cheap.