By a vote of 7-1, with has-been Jane Noland abstaining and Charlie Chong in his usual role as irrational naysayer, an emergency session of Seattle City Council last week passed a new ordinance requiring that registered voters cast a vote for Paul Schell for Seattle mayor in the Nov. 4, 1997 general election.

"We just want to protect people from their own ignorance," noted council head Jan Drago. "Say, isn't Aaron cute?"

The ordinance was to be enforced with Central America-style identity cards, presentable to police upon demand, which would be punched by poll workers once the ballot was inspected to ascertain a proper Schell vote. Absentee voters would be entered into a database, and the cards validated by inserting them for a $1.50 fee into any participating SeaFirst ATM.

However, it appears unlikely the law will be enforced, unless early mail returns favor Chong. Notes City Attorney Mark Sidran, the man charged with heading enforcement of the new measure, "The city has many other more pressing iss--HEY! IS THAT A PIECE OF CRUD BETWEEN YOUR TEETH? UP AGAINST THE WALL, PUNK!"

--reprinted from the Seattle Times