Baptize Patty Murray!

All it takes is a misplaced vial of acid to evacuate Benton County, Washington, because of fears that Hanford might go "boom." A vial of acid is nothing next to tanks full of radioactive, chemical stews that no one can identify or figure out how to dispose of. Next time dowsing the problem in a little water won't help. Meanwhile, Patty Murray, Gov. Gary Locke, and their private business friends are still insisting on creating even more of this toxic stuff. Maybe we can solve the problem by dowsing them. Some water balloons with atomic symbols at upcoming public appearances? Folks gaily humming a few hymns in the background to exorcise those demons? We could call it a preemptive strike.

Number Three and Counting

Washington state is ranked third in the nation in the number of people who require emergency meals at least once a year, according to a study by Tufts University's Center on Hunger, Poverty, and Nutrition Policy. The study asked families how confident they felt in acquiring food in the foreseeable future. What the study found was that cuts in benefits to legal immigrants and "welfare reform" are responsible for a drastic upswing in hunger. Food banks are running out of basic staples, and stocks are so low that many of them turn away families on a daily basis. These are families with children, of course--the same children that our reactionary state legislators claim to be protecting with insane moral legislation to ban same-sex marriage, make late- term abortions illegal, and declare English the official state language. Children eat food, not English textbooks.

One-Eyed Air Traffic Controllers

Meanwhile, in the other Washington (D.C.), lobbyists are attempting to rename Washington's National Airport after former President Ronald Reagan. Supporters of the name change are hoping to pass the bill by Reagan's 87th birthday on February 6. But not everyone in D.C. is happy about this, especially the air traffic controllers who remember when Reagan fired 11,000 of them during a nationwide strike in 1981--a move that legalized the use of scab labor, and that has drastically tipped the scales in favor of management ever since. "I'd rather have a hot poker in my eye than have an airport named after him," Said Randy Schwitz, executive vice president of the National Air Traffic Controllers Association. No word yet on how one-eyed air traffic controllers will effect air traffic safety.

IMF Drama Queens

The Seattle Times argued on its editorial page last Sunday that the U.S. "needs a strong IMF." It seems that, after shelling out $114 billion to bail out Indonesian, South Korean, and Thai banks and businesses, the IMF is now strapped for cash, and is looking to U.S. taxpayers for more dough. The details were a bit vague, but the argument went something like this: If the U.S. Congress doesn't pay the $18 billion IMF "assessment," plus an additional $3.5 billion, then U.S. business interests will suffer, especially U.S. bankers, investment firms, and wealthy investors who've made risky loans to Asian banks and businesses. The Times argued against letting those bankers and investors take the responsibility for the risks they took. (Though U.S. investment firms are quick to point out to employees whose pension funds have folded that it's always possible to lose all or a part of their principle investment. That's the breaks, buddy.) But the IMF is a delicate creature, deserving special treatment. The Times put it succinctly: "...the issues are emotional, complex and subject to distraction." Indeed. Those emotional IMF types should get some Prozac.