Hoarded at http://www.scn.org/newspeak Celebrating cutting edge advances in the Doublethink of the 90's Written by Wayne Grytting

Support Your Local Spy Satellite

Joining Uncle Sam and a proud list of multinational corporations, state governments are now discovering the joy of spy satellites. States like Georgia are renting time on surveillance satellites built by Lockheed Martin and Raytheon to track down water use, unreported logging, and new construction. Larry Griggers, director of the Georgia Department of Revenue, even admits this snooping from the skies "certainly has a 'Big Brother is Watching you' flavor to it." But Mr. Griggers doesn't let that thought deter his agency. Why? Because in his words, "It prevents us from having to spend money for other types of enforcement." Best to have the least expensive version of Big Brother, don't you agree? (WSJ 1/27)

The Homosexual Watch

The Navy employed a piece of detective work worthy of Sherlock Holmes to unmask a homosexual within their midst. A veteran submarine officer with the unfortunate name of Timothy R. McVeigh was tracked down from information provided on his American Online Internet account. Although his dismissal from the Navy was blocked by a Federal judge, the Navy wins plaudits for the impeccable reasoning they employed to determine from his answer of "gay" on a questionnaire that he was a practicing homosexual. The following are the words of an actual unnamed Navy official. "Under the Department of Defense homosexuality conduct practice, the statement made by a member that he is gay provides the rebuttable presumption that the service member has a propensity to engage in homosexual conduct." And presumably heterosexuals have a similar "propensity" to engage in hetero sex? In which case the entire Roman Catholic priesthood should do what? (WSJ 1/14)

HMOs to the Rescue

Many patients going for psychotherapy in our managed care facilities are discovering they have more company in their sessions than just a mere psychologist. They also have the benefit of trained HMO administrators listening from a distance. As part of what the Wall Street Journal describes as "the managed-care industry's efforts to control costs and monitor quality" (just like McDonald's does with its Big Macs), higher officials are requiring increasingly detailed reports on patients. For example, Value Behavioral Health requires details on 24 symptoms and 12 areas of patient functioning, including on the job. As a result, hordes of patients are forgoing therapy because of privacy concerns. If only they could hear the words of VBH administrator Ian Shaffer who assures all that "We are an advocate for the patient, because we hold the provider accountable for giving the appropriate treatment." Sounds almost like the return of Robin Hood. (WSJ 1/22)

Military-Industrial Logic 101

Traditionally, our citadels of higher learning have strived to avoid looking like mere store fronts for the Pentagon. But a recent report by the Natural Resources Defense Council has criticized many major universities for their involvement in nuclear weapons research. The most visible target is a program at five schools to build a supercomputer to simulate the effects of nuclear explosions for the US Energy Department. Fending off criticism of involving academia in the creation of weapons of mass destruction, Joan Rohlfing, a senior advisor to the Energy Department, made a fine distinction obviously missed by fat- headed opponents. "The purpose of the department's simulation research financing," she said, "is to improve our ability to maintain the nation's nuclear stockpile, not to improve its performance." In other words, we don't give a damn what it does, just keep the cash cow happy. (NYT 1/25)

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