Credulous media alert: the following headline in the Seattle Times' Sunday 4-19 edition provoked open laughter. "Gorton, environmentalists split [subhead] He feels he never had their support as a moderate."

Moderate? The frightfully mainstream League of Conservation Voters issued its annual ratings of Congress in February; the "conservative" Gorton scored a flat 0% on conservation, lower than any of his Republican colleagues from the state. As chair of the interior appropriations subcommittee, he he's used his ability to allocate conservation money to the great benefit of industry lobbyists who write the legislation he then introduces. Slade shepherded the infamous salvage logging rider through Congress, and was rewarded well; over a five-year period, he has received more money from timber interests than any other member of Congress.

The only people who would ever call Gorton anything but an environmentalists' nightmare are in Gorton's press office. From which the essence of the Times' article probably came. Gorton's publicly demanded linkage of removal of the Elwha Dam with preservation of all Columbia/Snake River system dams for years. The Times article smacked of very careful D.C. spinning: moderate Gorton spurned by crazed enviro-extremists. The revisionism would do Pravda proud. Gorton spun, the Times faithfully parrotted.--Geov Parrish

While on idiots in the media, it's about time to give a lifetime achievement award to the Seattle Weekly (nee: Eastside Week) right-wing media column, Watchdogs, written by John Hamer and Mariana Parks (about which, more in this week's Media Watch). But their latest takes it.

In the same new issue as an excellent article on abuses in state prisons, Watchdogs does its stupidest woofing yet. First, we hear a complaint about lack of coverage of a UW policy speech suggesting the Northwest develop ties with 25,000 "young leaders from former Soviet states" and with Siberian resource extraction.

So far, so good, tho American companies already lead the way in the environmental pillage of Siberia. But then it gets both offensive and weird: the column, at the attributed urging of the P-I's national reporter, Joel Connelly (in my experience, an arrogant asshole, but I digress), trashes the Seattle Times for having run rare profiles at separate times of several Seattle area activists: 100-year-old environmentalist Hazel Wolf; the late socialist Clara Fraser; elderly Quaker Floyd Schmoe; and Rev. Bill Bichsel of Tacoma, who has been repeatedly arrested for civil disobedience protesting the Army's School of the Americas, also known as School of the Assassins, in Georgia.

The sins of all except Bichsel? They were or were at one time in the last half century accused of being Communists! Which puts them, near as I can tell, on a somewhat less subversive footing than those 25,000 young ex-Soviet leaders. Duh. By the way, the listed sin of Rev. Bichsel, "upcoming sentencing for malicious destruction of government property," is an absurd overcharge for openly, peacefully defacing a government sign. But why let that stop good commie-bashing?

P.S. Memo to the Weekly's James Bush: James, my talented man, you get paid full-time to report on City Hall! Can't you do better than that City Councilman Richard McIver "had chili for lunch and belched all afternoon"? --G.P.

Joke told at last week's ETS! mailing: what's the difference between a musician and a 16-inch pizza? The pizza can feed a family of four.