Hoarded at http://www.scn.org/newspeak Celebrating cutting edge advances in the Doublethink of the 90's Allegedly Written by Wayne Grytting

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One of Coca Cola's major advertising agencies, McCann-Erickson, has sent a memo to magazines to help them in their job of providing a positive environment for Coke ads. Christine Maggiore, their print media buyer, advises publishers on how they can place the company's ads in locations "consistent with each brand's marketing strategy/positioning." And what is the best kind of magazine content on neighboring pages? Ms. Maggiore has the answer. "We believe that positive and upbeat editorial provides a compatible environment in which to communicate the brand's message." Ever willing to be helpful, she then goes on to list the subjects Coca-Cola considers to be "inappropriate." As expected, articles discussing politics, environmental issues, "sex related issues," and drugs head the list. But there are also some surprising categories to be axed. Not only do articles on health and food fail the test, but the whole category of hard news takes a dive. (3/6 Memo in Matador Records Newsletter)

Teaching By Example

This month's best Foreign Newspeak entry comes from Rwanda where 22 Hutu soldiers convicted of genocide against their Tutsi opponents were scheduled to be executed despite an appeal to save their lives by Pope John Paul II. Answering a pope is no easy task, and rising to the occasion was Rwanda's Foreign Minister Anastase Gasana, who defended the executions with a unique argument. "It (the executions) will teach people that no one has the right to exterminate other people with impunity and that human life is sacred." How could Catholics forget the role of a good execution in teaching the value of human life? (Reuters 4/23)

Small Ain't Beautiful No More

Those of you still spouting environmental themes about consuming less and living litely upon the planet need to check out the latest ads for the Lincoln Town Car. You are out of date. The latest Lincoln magazine ads feature the "spacious comfort," "distinctive design," and "quiet elegance" we would expect from a luxury car. But this stylish sedan has attitude as well. As the ad's headline proclaims, "This should finally put an end to all that `less is more' nonsense." And then they ask the critical question: "Whose idea was this `less is more' business anyway. Certainly not ours." Most certainly not! Lincoln knows what it proudly stands for. Its raison d'etre--"Because having it all is what this car is all about." It must feel great being all the way out of the closet. (US News 3/2)

The Postmodernist Dept.

Are you tired of seeing people mired in conventional thinking? Well, so is the Wall Street Journal, as expressed in a feature article on Peter Drussman, a German businessman who's built a small empire on the backs of low paid cleaning personnel. Herr Drussman has been arguing that Germany needs to lower wages to create more job opportunities, a decidedly minority view in Europe. But says the Journal, "To American ears, this sounds like the facts of life, even if regrettable." (Those of you who missed this sound may want to check your green cards.) Then, raising there patronizing tone one decibel, the Journal informs us, "The conventional thinking here (in Germany) is that every job should pay enough to cover a worker's basic needs." So much for stodgy conformity. (WSJ 3/3)

Special thanks this month to the eagle eyes of Mike Allen, Mike McCormick, Mark Cohen and Nicholas Rossis. Written by Wayne Grytting.