In a truly silly twist on the Clinton scandal, Republican Rep. Helen Chenoweth (Idaho) admitted to having an affair with a married man for six years. Chenoweth, one of the most conservative members of Congress and an active ally of white supremacist groups, has heaped a lot of vitriol on Clinton during the current sex scandal. It seems one of her constituents, the wife of Chenoweth's former business partner and lover, simply got tired of hearing Chenoweth's hypocritical comments and contacted the Idaho Statesman newspaper. Chenoweth should have learned a lesson from Rep. Dan Burton (R-Indiana), who just a few days earlier, had owned up to having fathered a child while cheating on his wife in the early 1980s. Burton has criticized Clinton for his campaign financing troubles, but kept his mouth shut during all the Lewinsky stuff. Chenoweth, however, has widely trumpeted her indignation over the Clinton sex scandal while campaigning for re- election.--Maria Tomchick

Speaking of re-election bids, while the phrase idiotic Patty Murray commercial may seem needlessly redundant, one of her new ones stands out in particular. In touting Patty's concern for "the kids" (of course), it notes that a bill of hers dealing with class size "...failed by one vote. But I'll keep fighting!"

Nearly six years in office, and Murray's record is so pitiful she's reduced to bragging about her initiatives that almost succeeded! It's sorta like the coach of the 0-16 football team, trying to save his job by reminding fans of the game they almost won.--Geov Parrish

I bet you thought we had nothing more to say about the Sudanese pharmaceutical plant, right? Well, there's more. The true scale of the destruction can only be understood once you know that the plant is Sudan's main source for rifampicin, an antibiotic used to treat tuberculosis. TB is rampant in Sudan and, unlike most curable illnesses, it requires nine months of continuous treatment. TB easily develops drug resistance, so current TB patients (mostly victims of war and famine in the east and south of the country) are already spreading a new drug-resistant strain. Importing medicine is cost-prohibitive.

Also, the Shifa plant made veterinary medicines. In a country whose major form of subsistence agriculture is cattle herding, just the lack of worm medicines to treat intestinal parasites will increase the Sudanese famine dramatically.--M.T.

Meanwhile, in the news here, there was little or no mention of missiles falling on Pakistan during the attack on the U.S.-constructed "terrorist training camp" in Afghanistan. The Reuters wire service, however, reported on Aug. 24 that an unexploded U.S. missile landed in an uninhabited area near Shatinger in the Pakistani province of Baluchistan. Looking at an atlas, it's clear that the other cruise missiles flew very close to, if not directly over, the region where Pakistan detonated its nuclear weapons earlier this summer. The faulty missile only made it 175 miles inland before it went down, missing its intended target by about 800 miles. That should make you sleep well tonight. --M.T.

And there's reports that the newly nuclear Pakistani government, in which radical Islamic groups have now gained greater influence due to anger over the American attack, is finding lots of useful technology by dissecting the unexploded missile that landed in its territory. As all these details emerge, a picture is painted of a military operation that, by U.S. standards, is not only callous and illegal (we've come to expect that) but unusually stupid. --G.P.

Just wondering, the sort of idle curiosity that comes from years of justified cynicism about U.S. foreign policy: who is behind the recent, sudden rebel attacks in The Congo? The U.S. and other western governments, not to mention the IMF, have been overtly hostile to Laurence Kabila's government since its ascension (after a long civil war) last year. The pithy explanation given by most media accounts, that rebel troops advancing on Kinshasa are supported by the governments of Rwanda and/or Uganda--much smaller countries halfway across the continent from the capitol--seems to be leaving out an important element of the story. Like the CIA, maybe? --G.P.

Some distribution updates: Not listed a couple issues ago, but still places where you can find ETS!, are Java Love, Red Apple, and El Centro de la Raza on Beacon Hill, and Hi Score Arcade on Capitol Hill. And it's Kismet, not "Kismel."

And while we have your attention, two more reminders: we still really, really need a reliable someone to step forward and help coordinate ETS! ad sales. Ad Czarina Valerie Jean got the ball rolling but is regretfully having to pass it on. Given our cash-strapped state it's one of the most important things anyone could do to help keep this remarkable weekly ball of innuendo and anarchic gossip afloat. Please help!

And, mark your calendars for October 1 at Recollection Books, wherein ETS! editors and audience will explore what's right with the world at the ETS! Town Meeting. A great time to be had by all, free of course, and rumor is the hot new 1999 ETS! wall calendars might even be ready by then.

Finally, This ought to ruin our anti-state reputation... Seattle City Council member Nick Licata's web site now has a link to ETS!. It was their idea, not ours...