Hoarded at http://www.scn.org/newspeak Celebrating cutting edge advances in the Doublethink of the '90s Written by Wayne Grytting

Making New Friends

A steady relation with a family doctor has gone the way of the rest of the memorabilia from the 1950's, according to a recent study showing that 25% of the public has changed physicians in the past two years. Now, reports Rachel Weissman in American Demographics, the doctor-patient gap is being filled by our pharmaceutical industry. Drug companies not only have the chance to step into the "breach" between doctor and patient, but are actually "establishing relations with the patients themselves" through direct marketing. And in an even stronger statement, we learn "The doctor-patient relationship is being replaced by a drug marketer-patient bond." I know I value my "bonds" with large multi-national corporations and I'm sure the new found "relationships" will be just as satisfying as those once engaged in with actual human beings. Hear that, Hal? (AD 10/98)

The PR Firm of the Month

Belated congratulations are in order for APCO Associates, a pioneer in engineering perceptions in the political arena for corporate clients. At their fine web site, APCO describes for prospective customers a recent successful campaign in which they built grass roots coalitions to pass legislation on a "complicated issue" for a large trade association. APCO successfully "implemented grassroots programs" (love that phrase), identified and trained "credible spokespersons," "assisted" in the writing of letters to newspapers and legislators, and even coordinated phone calls into radio talk shows. Thanks to the Internet, APCO is now openly sharing their accomplishments in purchasing grassroots participation. In particular, it's reassuring to know that many of the letters on newspaper editorial pages have had professional "assistance." I'm sure that makes for an enriched reading experience. (www.apcoassoc.com)

"What's that in the sky...?"

Many of the comic book Superheroes from our youth are being put to work not only to keep our streets safe but to help sell more American products. Spiderman is helping to sell Castrol Motor Oil while Iron Man promotes Phillip Morris Altoid Mints and Superman does double duty pitching the Jeep Cherokee and American Express. Advertisers like the Superheroes because they work cheap and have instant recognition. Although this may sound like yet another case of commercialization gone out of control, there is good news. The owner of these Superheroes, DC Comics, which in turn is owned by Time Warner, recognizes that their "global brands" (as they refer to Batman and friends) will suffer from being over-exploited. According to DC comics publisher Paul Levitz, "Superman and Batman have to each stand for a certain set of things. You try to preserve the magic." Now Superman will fight for truth, justice, and the American Espress Way. A modest change. (WSJ 11/10/98)

Pleasantville in the '90s

Ten million Americans now live in what are called "master-planned" suburban communities, according to the Community Associations Institute. These have been designed around the needs of mobile, affluent families who want safe, tightly controlled environments filled with like-minded people. These suburban oases offer strict covenants that prohibit a whole range of questionable practices and possibly give new meaning to the phrase "anal retentive." In Houston's "The Woodlands" community, for example, houses may only be painted in approved colors, garbage cans may not be visible, barbecue grills may not be located in the front yard, garage sales are forbidden and bug-zapper lights may not be placed more than six feet off the ground. Residents Peter and Jill Addy defend this high level of conformity because, "It's to protect our own interests." Gotta keep those property values up. And as evidence of how well these covenants work: 50% of the violations are reported by neighbors. (Sorry, no stats on the number of parents turned in by their children.) WSJ 10/7/98

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