March 32, 1999

Building Management The Federal Building 915 2nd Ave. Seattle WA 98101

Dear Friends,

It has come to our attention that your employer, and the employer of each of your building's tenants, is an organization (hereafter referred to as "U.S. Government") which is now once again bombing some or another hapless and defenseless country overseas.

We further understand that these actions are consistent with past U.S. government behavior, in which this government, without consent of the public and contrary to the wishes of the citizens of the target country, wreaks enormous death, destruction, and human tragedy upon that country.

We are concerned that your employer and your tenants, owing to computer programming and soft, bourgie lifestyles, may not have a full personal understnading of the horrors and counter-productiveness of war. We urge you to communicate this clearly and swiftly to your employers and tenants. The behavior the U.S. Government is engaging in is totally unacceptable to the international, peace-loving public, which has, for the purposes of this issue, appointed us as their sole Seattle area representative.

If there is no change forthcoming in the irresponsible, destructive behavior of the U.S. Government, we will be left with no choice but to take further actions, up to and including economic sanctions, a freezing of federal assets, surprise inspection and confiscation of office supplies in a search for weapons of mass destruction, air strikes, or a land invasion of your building. Please do not force us to resort to such extreme measures. Your prompt attention is appreciated.

Sincerely,

A few self-appointed vigilantes aka "The Global Policemen"

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March 37, 1999

Building Management The Federal Building 915 2nd Ave. Seattle WA 98101

To Whom It May Concern,

We have received no reply from you to our previous communique of March 32, 1999, concerning a U.S. Government-led bombing of Some Place or Another, and the complicity of your employer and your building's tenants.

More importantly, and regrettably, we have noticed no significant change in the U.S. Government's menacing behavior toward the citizens of this planet. We are not only concerned with the fate of the residents of Some Place Or Another, who would, like those in Iraq, Haiti, Somalia, Panama, and Libya, among many others, be certain to suffer enormously from the effects of such a military action. The U.S. Government-led economic attacks upon much of the rest of the world, through U.S.-dominated agents of international terrorism such as the International Monetary Fund, have also incurred extraordinary harm. We feel as well that we must act now to lessen the chances that this aberrant behavior, not only possessing but deploying weapons of mass destruction, will be repeated yet again in the future.

The U.S. Government is, ultimately, accountable to its citizens and those of the world. We must promote true democracy and protect human life. We are determined to do so, and we have extensive resources to bring to this task. Please take prompt action to ensure that your employer and tenant, the U.S. Government, does not continue on this tragic and unnecessary path. Otherwise, we will have no choice but to intervene, and interrupt the U.S. Government's normal conduct of business in your building.

Thank you for your consideration. Have an extremely nice day.

Sincerely,

A few self-appointed vigilantes aka "The Global Policemen"

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March 41, 1999

Building Management The Federal Building 915 2nd Ave. Seattle WA 98101

Okay, Look, You Bozos,

Our patience is exhausted. We have tried to enter into a reasonable dialogue, but have received no reply to our previous communiques of March 32 and 37, 1999, concerning U.S. air invasions of Some Place Or Another, and your role in it.

Your intransigence and irresponsibility in the face of a serious threat to the lives of the people of Some Place Or Another leaves us no choice but to consider more extreme measures. If the U.S. Government has not implemented a complete reversal in policy by Friday, March 45, 1999, at 12 noon (our time), we will have no choice but to launch a preemptive invasion of your building. Such an invasion may occur at that hour or at any time thereafter.

If the U.S. Government does reverse its policies, including renunciation of military action, imposition of strict economic measures to help the world's poor, abolition of the U.S. armed forces, and imposition of a "no fly zone" around Seafair, well, we'll think of something else. It's our way or the highway, buddy.

This deadline, like all of our demands, is non-negotiable.

You may wish to notify your tenants that, barring policy changes, it may be more difficult than usual to conduct normal business in the near future. We would like to feel quite yucky about your needing, through no fault of your own, to cope with the atmosphere of uncertainty and fear, the punitive strikes, your lack of control over the policies we object to, the, well, terrorism of the deliberate vagueness of our plans. We'd like to, but we don't, because we've wanted to make you feel what it's like to be on the other end of this sort of thing for years. Consider how much more terrifying it would be if we were the most powerful military force in the history of the world.

Sleep tight,

A few self-appointed vigilantes aka "The Global Policemen"

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Press Release--Thursday, March 44, 1999

"Tension Mounts As Federal Building Invasion Deadline Nears"

(Seattle)--Tension mounted today as helpless, worried tenants of Seattle's Federal Building hoarded lattes and braced for the worst as the imminent deadline of The Global Policemen approached.

The Globocops, who volunteered themselves for the role, announced earlier in the week that the building could be invaded at any time after noon (their time) on March 45 if the U.S. Government did not immediately stop bombing the shit out of people.

"The situation is extremely serious," intoned TGP spokesbovine Subcomandante Moocow. "We have exhausted every possible good-faith effort to come to an amicable resolution of this crisis."

Polls show that the American public is divided almost 50/50 on the appropriateness of invading Seattle's Federal Building, but Global Cop representatives insist they'll go ahead anyway. "It works for Clinton every time he's in a pickle," said one. "Why not us? The corporate media should fall right into line."

Any actual casualties, injuries, or minor inconvenience to Federal Building occupants is unlikely to make the news, which announced today that it planned to focus exclusively on the risks being taken by brave and dedicated protesters at the head of the invasion, and their worried relatives in the suburbs.

Added Moocow ominously, "Tell Boeing they're next."

- 30 - ---------------------- Press Release--Friday, March 45, 1999

FEDERAL BUILDING SHUT DOWN!!

Last Minute Negotiations "A Waste of Our Fucking Time," Says Invader

(Seattle)--Use your imagination...