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Sucking Up

Dear ETS!

Have you seen this piece of crap yet?

Senator Patty Murray wrote a letter to President Clinton to protest the protesters at the big WTO conference in October. Here's the text of the letter:

Dear Mr. President:

I am writing to express my deep concern about the recent press accounts that detail the plans of certain anti-trade groups to try and disrupt the World Trade Organization (WTO) Ministerial in Seattle later this year. The information contained in these reports is troubling.

The Seattle Host Organization is reporting that many companies and associations are hesitant to become active supporters because they are concerned about security and confrontations with various demonstrators. I strongly recommend you take two steps now to promote job-generating trade expansion and to lessen the probability of disruptive confrontations at the Seattle WTO Ministerial meeting.

First, I believe you should give a major pro-trade address in the United States as soon as possible. You have a unique ability to articulate, as you have on so many occasions, the importance of international trade to our economy. But you should also describe in detail how important the WTO is to trade. The WTO is the indispensable, rule making, enforcement body that provides a foundation for economic growth for all countries, developing and developed alike. Without the WTO and its rules, we would be reduced to having the law of the jungle. A public defense from you of the importance of the WTO is warranted and necessary.

Second, I urge you to meet with the responsible leaders of groups including labor, environmental, and consumer organizations that have legitimate concerns regarding the WTO. I encourage you to meet with these groups to point out and to emphasize that you asked the WTO to come to the United States; that you want a successful meeting charting international trade for the next century; and that you do not want disruptive and damaging actions distracting the media and the public from your important goals. It is important for these groups to understand that many of their concerns will be raised and in fact championed by your administration. I believe that a personal appeal from you may have the desired impact and may lesson the chance of disruptive confrontations at the Seattle WTO Ministerial meeting.

Washington state is honored to be hosting the Seattle WTO Ministerial meeting. We are doing everything we can to host all of the delegates, press, non-governmental organizations, supporters and other interested parties in an inclusive and hospitable manner. We want to work with you to ensure that the Seattle WTO Ministerial meeting becomes an important legacy of the Clinton Administration. We need your help to achieve this goal.

Thank you for your consideration; if I can be of assistance on any of these fronts, please feel free to let me know.

--Patty Murray, United States Senator

Submitted by Judy Olsen, Seattle, WA

Scabbing for Free Trade

Dear Editor,

The world's wealthiest people and/or their representatives are coming to Seattle to party, to schmooze, and to set "free trade" policies for this country. After all, we don't want the laws of this country, or any other to impede their ability to acquire wealth.

It seems there has been a slight oversight. As with any other party, there is a fair amount of work required--but an insufficient budget.

Yes, the wealthiest people in this country and the world, some of whose financial resources are larger than many countries--the organizers of the World Trade Organization--are looking for professionals, web builders, and others to work for free at their party. To sign up, go to http://www.wtoseattle.org/seattlehost/volunteers.htm.

Victor Eskenazi, via e-mail

Dialog With a Recruiter

The telephone rings.

J: Hello?

AR: Hello. This is [name deleted] of the U.S. Army. Is Roxanne home?

J: No. Are you a recruiter?

AR: Yes ma'am.

J: Well, she's my daughter. I grew up as an army brat. My father was a lifer.

AR: That's interesting. What rank did he retire at?

J: He didn't get very far. He retired an officer. He was an alcoholic and it got in the way of his advancement.

AR: Yeah, its a stressful life...

J: I know the military serves an important function in society...

AR: Yes, thank you...

J: ...But the problem is the you have to give up your rights. You have to follow orders. And often the folks giving the orders don't know what they're doing or have the best interests of the country at heart.

AR: Yeah, there's some things I could tell you. Of course, I'm not free tell you about those things.

J: I understand. So, I protested the Vietnam war, worked on draft resistance in the 70's and 80's. I've been active in the peace movement over the years.

AR: Are you a pacifist?

J: Yes.

AR: Man, I have nightmares about you people. Last night I dreamed I was surrounded by a group of protesters, and there was a snake biting me at the back of my neck.

J: That snake is a powerful symbol.

AR: Yeah, I just started reading a book by Young about symbols and dreams.

J: Yes, Carl Jung is important.

AR: Jung. Sorry I mispronounced that. I'm working on my education.

J: That's okay. Don't worry about it. So you see, I'm not really interested in giving Roxanne your message.

AR: I understand. But I really enjoyed talking to you.

J: I enjoyed talking to you as well. Bye.

--Jonnie Gilman, West Seattle

The Direct Route

To the Editor:

What is all this fuss about the WTO? Americans are always complaining about the size and cost of government. Here is our chance to get rid of it. Just imagine the lower taxes: no messy legislators to pay for. No judges' salaries. Who needs a Chief Executive when you have competent CEOs to decide what is profitable and therefore good for society? And consider the lower prices when corporations rule the world and write the laws: we won't have to pay for their campaign contributions and lobbyists anymore. We won't have to pay the costs of those pesky labor and environmental laws anymore. Here is a sample of what the WTO has accomplished so far:

Forced the U.S. to modify the Endangered Species Act and the Clean Air Act, overturned American restrictions on toxic pesticides, forced the Canadian province of Ontario to dismantle a successful single-payer insurance system, forced Canada to import ineffective but dangerous fuel additives, and unilaterally imposed punitive sanctions on European imports in blatant support of American-based corporate giants.

I say cut out the expensive middleman and just let bankers and corporations run things directly.

Peter Hodges, Seattle, WA