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Crazy Ideas

ETS!,

It doesn't take a degree in basket weaving to realize that this country has a problem when Big Business and Big Government (and occasionally Big Labor) get together in bed. Any publication which rails against these unholy alliances and their resulting abominations deserves applause.

Take a bow!

However, your cover cartoon ("Crazy Ideas") in the 12 April 2000 issue leaves me perplexed. Oh, yes, it's witty and superficially logical. But its basic premise--even bigger government involvement in human interactions--seemed irrational, so I gave it a little thought.

Let's look at the panels one at a time.

"Privatized Fire Depts": Every building in this country which has a mortgage, also has fire insurance. Even most of the few that are paid for carry fire insurance. Who has the greatest financial interest in fire safety? Obviously, those who issue fire insurance policies. Who pays for fire departments? Individual taxpayers. Hmmmm--some sort of disconnect there.

For a decade, I served as a volunteer fireman in rural New Mexico. To some degree our department depended on voluntary contributions from residents in our coverage area. Did we discriminate between contributors and non-contributors? Of course not. In fact, we sometimes responded to calls outside our area.

The cartoon depicting a woman in a burning building handing money to a fireman has great emotional appeal, but little basis in fact.

"Privatized Police": Let's leave aside your relations with the Seattle Police Department. Consider the revelations of the Rampart Division in Los Angeles--forced confessions, faked "evidence", bribes. Consider the ongoing targeting of blacks by police departments across the nation. Consider the ongoing harassment of Latinos by the INS. Consider the role of the CIA in importing drugs into Los Angeles. Consider J. Edgar Hoover's spying on and blackmailing politicians, consider his harassment of figures such as Martin Luther King. Consider the alliance of the CIA and the Mafia into attempts to assassinate Fidel Castro. And we're supposed to trust these guys?

Catch one of the miscreants and take them to court. Here you pit your personal assets against the assets of the State. In the rare case you can win a judgement against them--perhaps you can score a million bucks or so. Great! They're properly chastised, aren't they? But...just a minute. Do the offending cops pay the fine? No, YOU (and other taxpayers) foot the bill. Wow! That really taught them a lesson, didn't it?

On the other hand, you have privatized warehouse security guards, mall security guards, armored truck personnel, and, oh, hell, open the Yellow Pages and call the Pinkertons or any of their competitors. If they get out of line, they (or their employers) pay the damages. In other words, they have a built-in incentive to play within the rules. (And, yes, a century ago Pinkertons did beat up union organizers. And so did government cops. What else would you expect when Big Business and Big Government cooperate?)

"Privatized Food Safety": That's easy. Who would you rather have checking the quality of your food, the USDA (with their sorry record) or some rabbi? Even as an atheist mongrel, I place a great deal more confidence in kosher foods than in anything bearing the USDA rubber stamp. (So, maybe you missed the exposés on TV?)

As a former commercial winemaker, the BATF sent an agent out to check on me. He was a good-natured, good ol' boy, but he didn't know jack about wine, let alone about safe practices in making it. Oh, yeah, he did know how to check for taxes. But for all he knew, I could be poisoning my customers (something that I could ill afford, given the scarcity of customers).

"Privatized Healthcare": I don't make a habit of visiting emergency rooms in government hospitals, but the horror stories coming out of them (something on the line of "I waited five hours with a flaming Scud Missile in my ass while interns took care of some grannie's hangnail") would discourage me from even trying.

Instead, last summer, when I had a problem cyst on my back, I went to a private clinic where I received prompt, courteous, personal service from everyone from the receptionist to the nurses and doctors. As it turned out, since I was between jobs, my health insurance had lapsed. That did not faze them. The fact that I might not be able to pay them did not seem to bother them.

The bill, when it came, turned out to be more than reasonable. (Well, okay, they probably took some of it from someone else's insurance, which admittedly, is not quite fair. Sort of like the unofficial "sliding scale" my friend, the psychologist, used to charge.)

And about the outrageous fees for hospital rooms and healthcare, we need to ask what factors contribute to this deplorable situation. Arguably, one could pinpoint several areas in which government control is the culprit.

On balance, perhaps you might want to re-consider the thinking which generated your cartoon. The government's track record in most areas, I'm sure you will agree, is somewhat spotty.

And, yes, keep on with your Anti-Authoritarian essays. This is the most likely the surest path to greater personal freedom and well-being.

--Richard Jones, via e-mail