In 2001 America, the earnest claim "I am an environmentalist" rolls off the tongues of most of us as easily as "I like sex and pizza." Even George W and his oil-sucking, weapons-pushing cronies have been known to hiss the pious words. I like to believe that I live more sustainably than your average Joe, but then again, could this be an ego-pumped assumption as flawed as The universal delusion that everyone else is a shitty driver?

I may cling to my holier-than-thou belief, but the fact is, I live in the US of A. We're the world's pigs*, and everyone knows it. The next piggiest people on the planet, the Europeans, consume only about half the energy we do per unit gross domestic product. And so I'll take another wild guess: My dedicated junk mail recycling is but an inconsequential microscopic fleck on my Sasquatch-scale ecological footprint.

Unfortunately, the ecological leviathans facing us down in the 21st century demand a quite tangible change in how we all live. Perhaps the gloom and doom scenarios tend to be overblown, but of this we can be sure: The world's ecosystems cannot sustain the entire human population of the planet living the North American lifestyle. Thus there are two possibilities:

a) Perpetual inequality enforced through intimidation and violence. b) The piggies go on a diet.

Option (a) is an ugly destiny, though it appears to be the path on which we're headed, given the Bush administration's positions on issues such as the Kyoto Accords and missile defense. It remains to be seen whether or not our leadership or general populace can hack (b) instead.

The sorry outcome of the 2000 presidential election inspired me to pony up and join a few environmental groups, one of which was the Sierra Club. My first issue of Sierra magazine featured two stories blasting "big oil," though I couldn't help noticing the abundant advertisements for some or other high-tech outdoor product made from petrochemicals (i.e. plastic). Thus the consumption of outdoor gear feeds the cycle that ultimately leads to the degradation of the very places these products were designed to help us enjoy. Until we begin to recognize more of these links, those ice caps are just going to keep on melting.

And so, for the few, the proud, the would-be zealots who wish to truly earn their environmentalist stripes, I propose the following Ten Not So Simple or Easy Things You Can Do That Really Might Help Save the Planet:

1. Get rid of your car. The environmental degradation caused by car culture and all its side effects is unmatched by any other invention or technology. Save the money and headache. Try a service like Flexcar, or rent for the times when you really need a car.

2. Don't live in a place that demands excessive use of a car (yup, this would help with #1). Car-based urban/suburban design is a failure culturally as well as ecologically. Human beings were not born to spend their lives in steel cocoons, but to walk.

3. Work close to home. Is that dream job really worth the untold hours in freeway traffic jam Hell? Factor in the commute time and aggravation to justify a pay cut. Life's too short.

4. Limit travel by airplane. Trains or busses are about ten times as efficient as commercial jets. Besides, who doesn't loathe being inside those howling death tubes? The sad truth is that eco-tourism is almost pure oxymoron.

5. Eat less meat. The production of a kilogram of beef requires five kilograms of grain, 3000 gallons of water, and the equivalent of two liters of gasoline. Rainforests are cleared to graze cattle, until the soil erodes and they start up the chainsaws again.

6. Don't eat corporate, processed food (this one is harder than it sounds, given the proliferation of mega-brands like Kraft). Agribiz promotes the use of petrochemical-based fertilizers, pesticides, genetic engineering, unsustainable irrigation, and monoculture crops, while it disrupts local farming across the globe.

7. Have a small family. Limiting population growth is important in itself, but we North Americans must also consider the disproportionate environmental impact of our offspring. The average American is responsible for 25 times more CO2 emissions than the average Indian.

8. Drop out of mass media culture. (Hint: dump the TV.) The driving force behind media is advertising, with the sole purpose of encouraging more consumption by trying to make people feel unsatisfied. When less people tune in, the advertising rates drop, and the whole system atrophies.

9. Buy less. Economic progress does not necessarily equate to human progress. Spending money to "stimulate the economy" is not a requirement for good citizenship. We are people, not consumers.

10. Don't work a job that is in conflict with any of the above.

For sure, making the changes called for by this list would be neither simple nor easy for most of us. Monolithic systems are in place, cultural norms entrenched. Many folks have a hard enough time just getting by. However, if you believe all the hype about our unprecedented prosperity, then there ought to be more than a few of us who could afford to get busy on what really matters.

*All apologies to real pigs for this unfair and cheap rhetorical comparison.