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The Soldiers At My Front Door
by John Dear
I live in a tiny, remote, impoverished, three block long town in the desert
of northeastern New Mexico. Everyone in town--and the whole state--knows
that I am against the occupation of Iraq, that I have called for the
closing of Los Alamos, and that as a priest, I have been preaching, like
the Pope, against the bombing of Baghdad.
Last week, it was announced that the local National Guard unit for
northeastern New Mexico, based in the nearby Armory, was being deployed to
Iraq early next year. I was not surprised when yellow ribbons immediately
sprang up after the press conference.
But I was surprised the following morning to hear 75 soldiers singing,
shouting and screaming as they jogged down Main Street, passed our St.
Joseph's church, back and forth around town for an hour. It was 6 a.m., and
they woke me up with their war slogans, chants like "Kill! Kill! Kill!" and
"Swing your guns from left to right; we can kill those guys all night."
Their chants were disturbing, but this is war. They have to psyche
themselves up for the kill. They have to believe that flying off to some
tiny, remote desert town in Iraq where they will march in front of
someone's house and kill poor young Iraqis has some greater meaning besides
cold-blooded murder. Most of these young reservists have never left our
town, and they need our support for the "unpleasant" task before them. I
have been to Iraq, and led a delegation of Nobel Peace Prize winners to
Baghdad in 1999, and I know that the people there are no different than the
people here.
The screaming and chanting went on for one hour. They would march passed
the church, down Main Street, back around the post office, and down Main
Street again. It was clear they wanted to be seen and heard. In fact, it
was quite scary because the desert is normally a place of perfect peace and
silence.
Suddenly, at 7 a.m., the shouting got dramatically louder. I looked out the
front window of the house where I live, next door to the church, and there
they were--all 75 of them, standing yards away from my front door, in the
street right in front of my house and our church, shouting and screaming to
the top of their lungs, "Kill! Kill! Kill!" Their commanders had planted
them there and were egging them on.
I was astonished and appalled. I suddenly realized that I do not need to go
to Iraq; the war had come to my front door. Later, I heard that they had
deliberately decided to do their exercises in front of my house and our
church because of my outspoken opposition to the war. They wanted to put me
in my place.
This, I think, is a new tactic. Over the years, I have been arrested some
75 times in demonstrations, been imprisoned for a "Plowshares" disarmament
action, been bugged, tapped, and harassed, searched at airports, and
monitored by police. But this time, the soldiers who will soon march
through Baghdad and attack desert homes in Iraq, practiced on me. They
confronted me personally, just as the death squad militaries did in
Guatemala and El Salvador in the 1980s, which I witnessed there on several
occasions.
I decided I had to do something. I put on my winter coat and walked out the
front door right into the middle of the street. They stopped shouting and
looked at me, so I said loudly, publicly for all to hear, "In the name of
God, I order all of you to stop this nonsense, and not to go to Iraq. I
want all of you to quit the military, disobey your orders to kill, and not
to kill anyone. I do not want you to get killed. I want you to practice the
love and nonviolence of Jesus. God does not bless war. God does not want
you to kill so Bush and Cheney can get more oil. God does not support war.
Stop all this and go home. God bless you." Their jaws dropped, their
eyeballs popped and they stood in shock and silence, looking steadily at
me. Then they burst out laughing. Finally, the commander dismissed them and
they left.
Later, military officials spread lies around town that I had disrupted
their military exercises at the Armory, so they decided to come to my house
and to the church in retaliation. Others appealed to the archbishop to have
me kicked out of New Mexico for denouncing their warmaking. Then, a general
called the mayor and asked him to mediate "negotiations" with me, saying he
did not want the military "in confrontation" with the church. Really, the
mayor told me, they fear that I will disrupt the gala send-off next month,
just before Christmas, when the soldiers go to Iraq.
This dramatic episode is only the latest in a series of confrontations
since I came to the desert of New Mexico in the summer of 2002 to serve as
pastor of several poor, desert churches. I have spoken out extensively
against the US war on Iraq, and been denounced by people, including church
people, across the state. I have organized small Christian peace groups
throughout the state.
We planned a prayer vigil for nuclear disarmament at Los Alamos on the
anniversary of Hiroshima this past August, but when the devout people of
Los Alamos, most of them Catholic, heard about it, they appealed to the
archbishop to have me expelled if I appeared publicly in their town.
In the end, I did not attend the vigil, but the publicity gave me further
opportunities to call for the closing of Los Alamos. I receive hate mail,
negative phone calls and at least one death threat for daring to criticize
our country. But New Mexico is the poorest state in the US It is also
number one in military spending and number one in nuclear weapons. It is
the most militarized, the most in need of disarmament, the most in need of
nonviolence. It is the first place the Pentagon goes to recruit poor youth
into the empire's army.
If we are to change the direction of our country, and turn people against
Bush's occupation of Iraq, we are going to have to face the ire and
persecution of our local communities. If peace people in every local
community insisted that our troops be brought home immediately, that the UN
be sent in to restore Iraq, that all US military aid to the Middle East be
cut, and that our arsenal of weapons of mass destruction be dismantled,
then we might all find soldiers marching at our front doors, trying to
intimidate us.
If we can face our soldiers, call them to quit the military and urge them
to disobey orders to kill, then perhaps some of them will refuse to fight,
become conscientious objectors and take up the wisdom of nonviolence. If we
can look them in the eye and engage them in personal Satyagraha as Gandhi
demonstrated, then we know that the transformation has begun.
In the end, the episode for me was an experience of hope. We must be making
a difference if the soldiers have to march at our front doors. That they
failed to convert me or intimidate me, that they had to listen to my side
of the story, may haunt their consciences as they travel to Iraq. No matter
what happens, they have heard loud and clear the good news that God does
not want them to kill anyone. I hope we can all learn the lesson.
--John Dear is a Catholic priest, peace activist, lecturer, and former
executive director of the Fellowship of Reconciliation. This piece was
originally published Nov. 30, 2003 in the fine web site coomondreams.org.
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