This lovely bit from Hendrik Hertzberg in the 12-04-06 New Yorker, concerning a man who now controls the budget for over $350 million a year of contraceptives to be made available to low-income and at-risk women, was too long for Quote of the Week but deserves to be quoted in its entirety:

"...on November 16, Bush appointed one Eric Keroack to be the new chief of "population affairs" at the Department of Health and Human Services. In this post, Dr. Keroack, a gynecologist, will oversee what is called Title X, a Nixon-era program that distributes contraceptives to poor or uninsured women. Until recently, he was the medical director of a Christianist pregnancy-counseling organization that regards the distribution of contraceptives as 'demeaning to women.' One of his odder theories makes him a sort of family-friendly version of General Jack D. Ripper. In Keroack's case, the precious bodily fluid of concern is the hormone oxytocin, a.k.a. "God's Super Glue." Apparently, oxytocin is released during certain enjoyable activities, including hugging, massage, and, of course, sex. It is also, according to Keroack, the fluid that keeps married couples bound to each other. Therefore, if a young woman squanders her supply on too much fooling around, she can forget about ever becoming a committed wife."

What is it about the Bushies that makes them so hostile to, you know, science? And why does one suspect that if anyone were still living from the Salem Witch Trials, they would've gotten the post instead? --Geov Parrish

In an unusual move, the US Department of Justice has appealed the sentencing of Ahmed Ressam, the so-called "Millenium Bomber," by a US District Court Judge in Washington State. US Attorney John McKay is challenging the 22-year prison sentence given to Ahmed Ressam by District Court Judge John Coughenhour.

Ressam was arrested Dec. 14, 1999, at the US border in Port Angeles when police discovered explosives in his rental car. His arrest prompted the cancellation of millennium celebrations in Seattle. In April of 2001 Ressam was convicted on nine federal felony charges, including conspiracy to bomb the Los Angeles International Airport.

The Justice Department claims that Judge Coughenhour abused his discretion and misused Ressam's sentencing to criticize US policy about having terrorism suspects held indefinitely or tried before secretive military tribunals. Ressam's attorneys and a government psychiatrist claim that due to years of solitary confinement and repeated interrogations, Ressam has suffered a complete mental breakdown. --Mark Taylor-Canfield

A Marine Corporal from Washington State has agreed to plead guilty to charges of aggravated assault and conspiracy to obstruct justice in the death of an unarmed Iraqi civilian. US Marine Corporal Jerry Shumate from Matlock says he will plead guilty in a case that involves seven Marines and one Navy corpsman accused of kidnapping and murdering 52-year-old Hashim Ibrahim Awad. Prosecutors say squad members tied Awad up, put him in a hole and shot him, then placed an AK-47 in his hands and a shovel nearby to make it appear as if he was an insurgent planting explosives.

Four US soldiers already pleaded guilty to lesser charges in the case, including Pfc. John Jodka, Lance Corporal Tyler A. Jackson, and Navy Petty Officer 3rd Class Melson J. Bacos. A second Marine from Washington State accused in the killing is Lance Cpl. Robert B. Pennington of Mukilteo. Pennington has been arraigned on murder charges. --M.T.-C.

Who needs fruitcake ... when you can Eat the State! Ideally, of course, the grotesque commercialism that is Christmas wouldn't exist, but it does, and your relatives and friends and co-workers and goddess knows who else are expecting you to help. Who are we to walk away from a good cause?

ETS! gift subscriptions are now a better deal than ever, because they actually arrive, 25 or so times a year, in a timely fashion! We've started sending them out first class. (Note to existing subscribers: there's been a bit of training of postal employees involved, so if yours doesn't show up more promptly, please let us know. We should have the kinks ironed out soon.)

Subs are still only $24 for one year, and $39 for two. And don't forget that we're in the midst of our year-end fund drive, so including a little extra does wonders for your karma and our crock-pot.

Now, wasn't that easier than going to the mall? --the Eds.