With his thick black eyebrows and warm coffee-colored skin, Chanan (pronounced "Hanan") Suarezdiaz could easily pass for an Arab--and he might have during his time in the Middle East, were it not for the US Navy Corpsman uniform he wore. Chanan says he apologized constantly to the Iraqi people who treated him with kindness. He remembers one particular raid in Ramadi: "I was starving. They made flat bread, they cooked eggs and I had Chai." Saurezdiaz sits across from me at an oak table, his deep brown eyes like a tunnel through space and time to the war in Iraq circa 2004. While Iraqi and US Troops were shooting it out on the roof, Suarezdiaz kept guard with an Iraqi mother, grandmother, daughter, and disabled son inside the house. The women made him breakfast. Saurezdiaz says Iraqis "are the only people I've ever met who, when you raid their home and you bust down their door, they're still hospitable and kind."

Suarezdiaz carries memories and stories from this war in his heart, and pieces of shrapnel lodged in his abdomen from when he was wounded in Ramadi by a rocket-propelled grenade in February 2005. His job now is to testify that this war is a lie, a lie he almost died for, a lie which has cost the lives of so many innocent Iraqis, US soldiers, and some of his dearest friends--including one from Wisconsin who was only 19 years old. "He was one of those kinds of people who always had a smile on his face and it just amazed me ... he has a smile on his face even in a place like this. I could do that."

Suarezdiaz describes fighting in Iraq as a living nightmare: "We lost ten people in my company. When you're over there, you don't know if you're going to live or die ... When I got into Ramadi, we got into a firefight the second day we were there ... it's a very surreal experience. We were in our Humvees going down the main road and we got contact.  There were rocket-propelled grenades. I remember getting out and running next to a wall and pointing my weapon up towards a building and I just remember thinking to myself what the hell am I doing here ... you don't know if there's a sniper ... I remember thinking, 'we're really in a bad situation because people want to kill us.'"

He witnessed war crimes in Ramadi, including "Marines purposely killing innocent people because their buddies were killed from small arms fire or IED [Improvised Explosive Devices] ... and they're frustrated because they can't identify who [did it] and so they take it out on the population." More than isolated incidences, military policy seems to condone revenge killings of women and children. Suarezdiaz mentions "a particular officer ... in charge of a particular platoon who in my opinion condoned the activity of his Marines killing innocent people as retaliation for two of his Marines being killed. Everybody knew that was happening in the company." During his time as a soldier Suarezdiaz was deeply uncomfortable with both the reasons for this war and how it is being carried out. "When you sign on the dotted line with the military it's like selling your soul to the devil."

As president of the Seattle chapter of Iraq Veterans Against the War (IVAW), Suarezdiaz now promotes GI rights and works to end the US occupation of Iraq. He feels that veterans have a unique opportunity to work with peace activists and tell their stories so civilians can learn the real truth about what is happening in Iraq from the soldiers who were actually made to carry out US foreign policy. When I spoke with Suarezdiaz and his fellow IVAW spokesperson Eric Salazar, they were getting ready to go testify at the IVAW Winter Soldier hearings in Maryland, the weekend of March 13-16.

Suarezdiaz and Salazar had a rough time emotionally when they left the military, feeling very angry and upset about what they had witnessed and participated in. They couldn't understand how normal civilian life could go on around them while their buddies and innocent Iraqis were victims of daily brutality and terror in Iraq. "[The] transition from military to civilian life is very, very hard and they don't prepare you for that transition." These days, the two young men speak out on behalf of soldiers, the Iraqi people, and also to help their own healing. "I think it's important for Iraq and Afghan veterans to speak out against these occupations. I view it as therapy," Suarezdiaz said.

Suarezdiaz believes the military should be made into a more democratic and egalitarian institution. He told me, "Our commanding officer before we went to Ramadi gave this patriotic speech to us about how we're fighting for the liberation of Iraq and for our country." Shortly after his platoon arrived in Ramadi, that officer resigned because he has a family back in the states. All of the grunts in his platoon have families too, but because this man was an officer, he had the luxury of being allowed by law to resign.

Suarezdiaz views this rankism--as well as the blatant and institutionalized racism, heterosexism, and sexual violence in the military--as very wrong. He says recruiters lie to young people to get them to sign on the dotted line and work to keep soldiers in the dark once they're enlisted. "They don't educate you on your actual rights while you're in the military." Suarezdiaz and Salazar told me that enlisted men and women can call 1-877-447-4487 for more information on where they stand legally. "I want a movement for a democratic military because soldiers get screwed over all the time," Suarezdiaz said. As a navy corpsman, Suarezdiaz's job was to support the physical and emotional health of soldiers, a loyalty he now continues as the President of Seattle IVAW.

In addition to veterans, according to Suarezdiaz, many active duty soldiers are against this war: "There's people in the military that, in country, are destroying their own vehicles so they don't get sent on death missions ... there was an article in the Army Times that [said] a whole platoon refused an order ... Just because I signed a contract doesn't mean that I divorced myself from a conscience ... My platoon was very political ... very mature platoon, very diverse ... we were debating all the time." Suarezdiaz would educate himself while in Iraq by reading The Nation online. Despite brainwashing during boot camp, and being subjected to many patriotic speeches, Suarezdiaz was able to see through the lies even while still in Iraq. IVAW reaches out to veterans, but also to enlisted men and women. "We need to starve the military from the outside and encourage people within it to follow their conscience and know that there is a movement, IVAW, that supports them."

Earlier during the day I spent with Suarezdiaz and Salazar, during an on-camera interview with Warren Etheredge for a filming of The Warren Report, Suarezdiaz spoke from his heart: "I am not going to die for a lie. I almost did. I don't wish anybody to be in that position ... where at 20, 21 years old to have to call their family from a combat zone and tell them 'if I don't come back, I love you' ... no one should be put in that situation." Suarezdiaz is not a tall man, but carries his strength in brawny arms and large hands that once reluctantly held an AK 47, and are now quick to embrace a new friend. May his hands never be ordered to dehumanize himself and others ever again.

More information on the Winter Soldier hearings and other IVAW actions can be found at http://www.IVAW.org and http://www.ivaw.org/chapter/seattle